2019 Resolutions

I know, we’re almost half the way into the year, so a post about resolutions may seem a bit tardy. Thing is, I don’t actually believe in setting resolutions. I believe in learning lessons. I started writing about the lessons I’d learned from 2018 earlier this year, but never finished because of all my health stuff. Rather than let what I had down go to waste, I figured why not throw it against the wall here and call it an A for effort. So here goes…

• The capacity to disappoint and/or devastate the people we care about is innate in every single one of us. It’s a matter of choosing each day to give others as much respect and grace as we give ourselves. No one knows this as well as a parent. Kids will break your heart, man, and because you’re hardwired to love them, you take it on the chin, forgive, and keep it moving. Think before you speak, pause before you act, and consider the ripple effect that what YOU say and do will have on those around you. Make a conscious choice to take the high road.

• Family and friends are an absolute necessity. At the end of the day though, no matter how solid your support system is, there are experiences in your life that you will have no choice but to go through literally by yourself.

My health problems have always been a glaring example of the dichotomy of having a huge, caring network of family and friends encouraging me and simultaneously feeling alone…no matter how much they want to be there or how much I want them there, there comes a moment where nurses physically won’t allow them to come any further as they wheel me away on my gurney.

There are about five to ten minutes between when my loved ones are told they have to stay behind the double doors and when I finally get the happy gas or sleepy sauce or whatever, and I’m alert and keenly aware that I am all by my lonesome in a room full of strangers and implements of torture.

In those moments, I wonder what other people who don’t have a relationship with God feel like. It’s hard enough for me and I’ve been knowing God since I was little. If I’m in there having a moment while I’m having a nite-nite chat with God and I still have one or two sad tears roll down my face, how does someone without that relationship deal??? I’ve just learned that I need to draw nearer to God in those moments so that I have less time to feel far away from my earthly family, because even when I’m by myself, I am never alone.

• How you came up in life has a very real and very powerful impact on how you develop as an adult. Half the population will use their youth as an impetus to do better. The other half will use it as an excuse. Each of us comes to a point in our lives when we get to make a choice: rocket ship or crutch. And if you wake up one day and find that you’ve made the wrong choice, there’s good news…each new day is a new chance to choose the rocket ship. Always try for the rocket ship.

• As long as I live, there will always be more stuff I haven’t fixed about myself yet, and new stuff I didn’t even realize was broken. There’s no shortage of work to be done on myself. As such, I really have no business mucking about trying to fix anyone else. And vice versa. So I’m respectfully not interested in anyone’s opinion of how I can be a better me. I’m already on it, thanks. We’d all do better to focus our “helpfulness” on ourselves.

• Invest more in experiences and memories, and less in stuff. Give more, hold onto less. Cluttered physical space can equate to cramped emotional quarters and inadequate mental boundaries. Create room for healthy living on all levels, for everyone sharing your physical, mental, and emotional space with you.

That’s as far as I got, but it’s more than enough for me to work on this year. Oh, and tomorrow completes one full week on the Mavyret! So far so good…(knocking on wood) no crazy side effects, haven’t noticed that I’ve been more fatigued or headachy than normal. I’m not sure if side effects kick in after you build up like two or three weeks in your system though, so who knows. I could have a violent attack of gastrointestinal issues in the middle of the night tonight for all I know. If I do, I’ll be sure to post about it in great detail tomorrow. 😁 Hehe…

-Tessa’s Bum Liver

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